One Battle Over, One Just Beginning

Yesterday, we laid my Mother to rest. Her battle with Alzheimer’s was over and she could, once again, think with a clear mind and live out her eternity in peace.

It’s always hard  to say good-bye to a loved one. In the past, I’ve had to say good-bye to Friends, Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles, Cousins, a Niece and Nephew, and my Father. I knew it would be hard to say good-bye to my Mother, I just didn’t know “HOW” hard.

Previous to her physical departure, Alzheimer’s took her memory, her speech and her ability to take care of herself. A stroke led to her not being able to swallow liquids or food. This led to her final demise. “Garden of Memories” did an outstanding job of erasing the effects Alzheimer’s had on my Mother. My sister and sister-in-law dressed her in clothes they knew she would have loved. She was once again, in death, restored to her lady-like stature. Although that was beautiful, I was not ready for the amount of tears that would flow from within me.

You see, not only do my Mother and I share a “Mother/Son Bond,” we also share Alzheimer’s.

Riding to the funeral home, during the visitation, praying during mass and finally saying good-bye at the gravesite, I couldn’t help but think, “What will my Alzheimer’s journey be like and how will it end?”

Ever since I was diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer’s I started researching this horrible disease. One thing that stood out is that it is one of the most under-funded, under researched diseases. I know there are some medications on the market right now that may assist in “slowing the progress” of Alzheimer’s but there is no cure. If a cure is discovered, by the time it’s available for consumers, the cost will probably be astronomical and will be too late to do me any good.

I keep telling my self I can’t worry about what will be, so I’m committing myself to concentrate on the here and now. I have a family that loves me and cares deeply about my well being. I want to give them all the love I can possibly give. I want to make good, positive memories with them, that, although I will forget in the future, they will retain. I want to spend more time with my brothers and sister and their families to create memories with them and for them. I want my friends to know how much I care for them, what their friendship means to me and how much I appreciate them.

I will fight this fight as long as I possibly can.

This is such a cruel disease. I know there’s a reason for everything, but I can’t help question it’s existence or what purpose it serves. That goes for every disease. I know I’ll never know or understand, but that won’t stop me from wondering. Until that time, I will be an Advocate for Alzheimer’s. I will bring attention to this disease, I will do my best to raise money for this disease and hope and pray for a cure.

Mom, thank you for a lifetime of memories. I cherish each and every one and I will hold onto them as long as I can. No matter what my future holds, you will always be in my heart!

10 thoughts on “One Battle Over, One Just Beginning

  1. I’m very sorry for your loss in the sincerest possible way I can. I won’t drone on, there are never the right words. Just know that I am paying attention, that it matters to me, and that I know how you feel.

    As to your Alzheimer’s situation there are no words of mine that will change anything. I would offer one word of advice. Write. I mean like a madman…everyday about everything that you can think of. Stories be they made up or real…download as much of your thoughts as you can. Our bodies are here for a short while but your words will live forever.

    We never really know the lives that we touch with what we do. I would suggest that you could touch a lot of lives with your words and deeds. Live your life wide open…everyday is a new day and another chance to change something somewhere. I’ll make a deal with you, I’ll do the same.

    I’ll be watching and listening…so will a lot of people. Rock on.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. love you Brian. The gift of this is knowing how precious each day is, each memory, each opportunity to love. The reminder to each of us that we are not guaranteed tomorrow. This life will end for all of us and none of us really has the luxury of time- love, write, sing, dance, take beautiful pictures, and be Brian as long as you can.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Love you Brian! Again, I say that I am so sorry for your loss, it is horrible to loose our loved ones. I do agree with your friend Jim, that is the best thing that you can do is just write , write, write, all the thoughts and feelings you have. You have such a gift of words, you are able to express yourself through words. That will be the legacy that you can leave your family, and your friends, and such a valuable gift for them. All I can do for you my friend is pray for you and be here for you. If you ever need to talk or message me when you are down please do not hesitate. Good friends are hard to find and I feel that we have been good friends for a long time. We thought the world of your family, your Dad and Mom were like mentors to us, and our kids. I know that you will fight this battle with all you have and all that you are. Love to you and your family.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I agree with your friend, Jim: write. It’s a permanent etching of your thoughts and your days and will be as cherished by eternity as your mother is. May she rest in peace.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Brian,
    At the funeral, I didn’t know that you had also been diagnosed with the disease. I want you to know that you will always be in my prayers and any time you need volunteers for fund raising, etc., just let me know.


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