It’s Valentine’s Day once again . . . the yearly celebration of love, romance, flowers, chocolate and Hallmark cards. It’s a Day set aside every year to remind those of whom we love just how much their love is appreciated.
For those of us with Alzheimer’s, we may not remember from one day to the next what day it actually is. Tomorrow, we may forget that today was Valentine’s Day, yet we will still tell (and show) our Spouse/Significant Other/Family/Care Partner just how much we love them. For us, without really knowing, every day could be Valentine’s Day and we wouldn’t have a clue.
To be honest, the only reason I know It’s Valentine’s Day is because it says so on my calendar. It may sound strange but I no longer know what day it is. I go by the numbers of the month. I sort of know when the weekend is because everyone will be home. I still won’t know if it’s a Saturday or Sunday but I will know it’s a weekend. 3 day weekends, however, confuse the hell out of me. Looking at the calendar now, I see tomorrow is Presidents Day . . . a holiday . . . CONUFUSION DAY!!! LOL
But back to Valentine’s Day. I tell my Wife / Care Partner / Best Friend Shannon “I LOVE YOU” several times a day. I do the same with Asheton and Bradley. For Shannon, I will write her a note and leave it on her pillow or bedside table, send her a text or an e-mail, not just on a holiday, Anniversary or special day, but on any day, at the moment I think of it. If I don’t, I’ll forget. For the kids, I’ll send them a corny joke or just a little something just so they know I am thinking about them.
Why should we wait for a special romantic holiday to tell our special someone how much we love them and how much we appreciate all they do for us? One day, we will not be able to communicate those things with whom we love the most. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want my family to ever wonder how much I loved them or if I ever appreciated them. I want the last words they ever hear from me, the last words I want them to remember me saying, is “I LOVE YOU!”
I guess what I am trying to say is, don’t wait for a holiday to come along to tell your loved ones just how much you love them. And no, I’m not just speaking as someone with Alzheimer’s, I’m speaking just as a person. You never know when that “last time” you see or speak to someone will be. So, don’t let a card say the words for you. Say the words with your own voice. Don’t wait until you’re not able to communicate to then try to communicate your feelings. Tell them now and tell them often.
Although I won’t remember saying those words to them or hearing those words from them, they will remember hearing those words from me and hopefully, feel them in their heart forever.
To me, that’s all that matters.