Imagine my amazement when through recent conversations with some close acquaintances, I was told that there are individuals who think I am FAKING my Alzheimer’s Disease. Yeah, I know, right?

First off, HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU FAKE ALZHEIMER’S DISEASE???

  • I’ve had brain scans. Did I manipulate them by turning my brain off, not thinking anything while in the scanner?
  • I’ve been diagnosed, not once, not twice, not thrice, but 4 freakin’ times
    by a Neurologist, a Neuropsychiatrist, and two Neuropsychologists (appointed by the Social Security Administration, who by the way, declines benefits until no stone is unturned). Did I fake not remembering how to draw a clock or another type of shape?  Did I fake remembering the 4 words I was told 5 minutes ago?
  • Do I fake every day not remembering things from 1 minute, 1 hour or 1 day ago
  • I’ve had my driving privileges taken away by my Dr. for it was determined I no longer have the cognitive abilities or proper reaction time to operate a vehicle. Did I fake that too?

BOGUS

WOW . . . if I was faking all this, I must be a pretty damn good faker to have come up with this diabolical plan. But wait, if I was actually faking it, wouldn’t that take someone who can think and remember what to do, day in and day out, so they could remember to keep “faking it?”

Could someone:

  • who has no clue what day it is
  • who cannot tell time on a non-digital watch
  • who has to have alerts on his phone to remind him to take his medicine, to eat and to bathe every day
  • who can’t remember, day to day, how to work a TV remote

Could someone who is Cognitively Impaired really carry out this plan?

Oh wait, I get it . . . I’m supposed to be curled up in a bed, not able to talk intelligently, not able to feed myself or go to the bathroom by myself, and not remember my wife and children. God forbid, should I be able to use a laptop to write blog posts that will hopefully bring awareness and education to people who don’t understand the in’s and out’s of Living with Alzheimer’s Disease that they only saw in their elderly parents and grandparents.

GEEEEZZZZ, I guess since I’m able to do all of these things, maybe all of those so called medical professionals, all 4 of them, plus their PA’s and NP’s, all with their Diplomas and Certificates and published articles are just full of shit!

Maybe they have a quota as to how many people they have to diagnose with a Dementia-Related Illness each month and they needed just one more to be awarded the monthly “Hey, You Diagnosed Some Poor Sucker with a Fatal Illness Who Wasn’t  Really Sick” award, and I was the lucky one.
Maybe they (all 4 Dr’s, PA’s and NP’s) deliberately lied to me just to turn my life and my family’s life inside out and upside down, all the while so they can collect a $35 co-pay so they have some spending money for lunch!
Wow, did they pull the wool over my eyes, or what?

FAKE

I’ve been open and honest about my Alzheimer’s life since the day I was diagnosed. When I talk about it, I don’t do it to make people feel sorry for me, to have pity on me or to call attention to myself.
If I did that, I’d be dishonoring the lives of my Grandfather, my Mother and Father, or my wife’s Grandmother.
If I did that, I’d be making a mockery of every person in the world who has Alzheimer’s Disease, whether they be over or under the age of 65, individuals who I now call a friend.
If I did that, I’d be purposely putting my wife and children through sheer, underserving, inexcusable, wretched hell.

Well, I don’t have the capability to do something like that. 

I’m not saying I’m perfect for I have many faults and I’ve made many mistakes in my life that I’ve paid dearly for, but I’m not evil!

So, for those of you who want to continue thinking I’m faking my illness, please go right ahead. You have the right to think and say what you want. You can’t hurt me anymore than what I’ve already been. We don’t talk or see each other so it’s not like I’m missing out on anything.

Since receiving my “diagnosis” I’ve become non-existent to you, well, except to be called a fake, not to my face of course.

So please, continue your path in life and feel good about yourself. It must be nice to sit upon your throne and pass judgment upon those of us, you feel, are just skating through life.

Yeah, I’m skating alright. Of course, I can no longer skate on my own (guess I’m faking that too) but I’ve got Shannon (and her family), Asheton, Bradley, Linda and so many others holding me up both physically and emotionally when I need it. Unfortunately, I’ve been needing their assistance more and more lately but they are always there. I know I’m fortunate to have them, and yes, I know who YOU are, and I NEVER take it for granted.

They understand what I go through every day. They see and talk to me on good days, bad days and all days in between, because they get it and I am so thankful for that.

Feel free to call them and ask them if I’m “faking it”.
Better yet, just call Shannon. She would just loooooove to talk to some of you.
Just be prepared though, she’s kinda protective of me.

Until Next Time . . .

PEACE,
B

 

30 thoughts on “So . . . You Think I’m Faking my Alzheimer’s Disease, do you?

  1. I wonder sometimes if they think I’m faking how Maureen really is because they have no idea. All sorts of professionals pop in here as they have today and think they know how she is. They should see her in full flow now: clearly a reaction to their patronising assessment of her today. Guess what they did when she began to let them have it today – made their excuses and went back to their little nice little office!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Brian do sorry to hear you are going through this. As if the MONSTER disease and diagnosis is not enough. We the people who know thank you for putting yourself out there. For opening yourself up and sharing your journey, so we the people have a better understanding of what our friends and love one’s are going through. We the people are forever in your debt for being the man who took us on your journey.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. YEP…. I get people asking me “Are you sure” and “How do you know? you have got Alzheimers?” all the time 😦 Particularly when you are under 50 you don’t fit the old grandmother version of Alzheimers 😦 I get where they come from… and if I didnt have it and came across someone like myself that is still capable of doing many things I would be a bit confused as well. I belong to an early onset alzhemiers womens group… and we decided at least Alazhmeiers was’nt a painful disease! Always looking on the bright side of life 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. B,
      After reading your post, I thought, “Hell, I could have written that.”
      Alzheimer’s progresses with different speeds and neurologist say it depends upon the patient: age, physical and mental health, family history, etc.
      I have two aunts who died within the last 10 years from Alzheimer’s and my mother died seven years ago w/alzheime’s which was the same year I was diagnosed – by three different neurologist- with the same disease.
      Doctors 10years ago were saying the average longevity of an Alzheimer’s patient, after diagnosis, was seven years.
      My initial reaction to settle-in to wait for the inevitable. Needless to say I became depressed. After 10 months or so, I had nothing else to do, heck I’d be dead in about 72 months, so I said “screw it, I’m going to continue living like normal and see where it takes me.”
      I can still put words on a page. I’ve had two successful solo art exhibits in North Texas. I post too much on Facebook.
      Yes, I can tell a difference over the last seven years and I know my wife can as well. I still drive some but not as much as I used to. I use my computer daily for correspondence and photography/art projects, but nothing like I did in the past.
      What prompted me to write this extended preamble, was your post about someone not believing you had Alzheimer’s. I have a long time friend that still doesn’t believe I have it and he’s a psychologist.
      Love hear from others with this malady and their thoughts on “avoiding” the symptoms after diagnosis.
      Keep Fighting,
      A

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Thank You so much for this. It really puts things in perspective.
        Your story is very similar to mine so that helped a lot also.

        Sincerely,
        B

        PS I agree with Tru.
        I’m on Facebook @/TheBrianLeBlanc
        Twitter @TheALZ_Guy

        Like

      2. GO YOU!!!! I love you passion for life!!! I found this on the web the other day and it has become my mantra “Before you leave the house, you need to make up your mind that you are going to STAY POSITIVE and enjoy the day, no matter what comes you way. You just have to decide ahead of time!

        Liked by 1 person

  4. My mom lives with me and has had Alzheimer’s disease for about 8 years now. Her body is healthy but she has almost no speech, is pretty much always confused, sleeps most of the day away, is incontinent and requires constant care. The saving grace in all this is that her personality has not changed. She does get frustrated but mostly she has stayed her own sweet self. It is exhausting caring for her and working, and expensive but necessary to have help. I’m trying to keep her at home but I don’t know how long this will go on and her needs are increasing almost daily she was adjusting to the medications Donepezil (Aricept), but they make her feel sick also. she had problems recognizing other family members and friends. or getting dressed..When the medication no longer helps, i searched for alternative treatment and i was introduced to Health herbal clinic in Johannesburg who have successful herbal treatment to Alzheimer’s disease. I spoke to few people who used the treatment here in United States and they all gave a positive response, so i immediately purchased the alzheimer’s disease herbal remedy for my mother and she commenced usage, she used the herbal supplement for only 7 weeks, all symptoms gradually faded away, . contact this herbal clinic via their email healthherbalclinic @ gmail. com

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      1. Karen,
        The e-mail address seems to be defective. I’ve tried various letter spacing to no positive effect. Please check healthherbalclinic @ gmail. com. Thanks

        Like

    1. Surely they have a website? And if their product was so success at curing people one would have thought this would be in all the media… sorry to be a negative nancy but there is just such a lot of rubbish out there online re ‘cures’ 😦

      Like

  5. The onlookers who tell me – he’s so young (yup it’s young onset!) his ex wife who says he’s always been like this (really?? Doubly incontinent? Routing around in trash cans?) just because he can occasionally manage to pull the wool over someone’s Eyes for a 5 minute encounter does not mean “there is nothing wrong with him”!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Thank you Brian for writing this.

    With both parents with a diagnosis I find people asking do they remember me, very frustrating. People’s ignorance is astonishing. My lovely Grandad still knew who I was till the end of his life. Not everyone with dementia of what ever type, gets to the very end stages of dementia. I am fortunate that both parents are coping as well as possible with this disease, with a upbeat outlook. Enjoying every day as it comes.

    Not to say it is not difficult for them or myself, their daughter.

    People have said to my dad, I am less fearful of dementia because I see you doing normal things in the community. I know some people think they do not have “proper” or “real” dementia, I say you have not seen them at 4 am or when they have a bad day. Or how different their capacity for daily tasks is.

    Keep on keeping on.

    Like

  7. I can relate to your frustration 100%. I’ve stumbled on your blog by accident but can’t now remember what I was actually looking for. I have Mild Cognitive Impairment with an Alzheimer’s pattern. My mum had Alzheimer’s and her youngest sister is now end stage Alzheimer’s so I’m pretty sure I know where my MCI is heading although no brain changes showed up on a scan back in 2014.- the same year I published my mum’s story and the same year I noticed that I couldn’t remember names of close friends anymore and kept getting lost in places I knew well. Now mid 2017 things have got worse and sleep wipes the brain of most of yesterday’s activties, I have a whole door as a blackboard for reminders and a clock that tells me what month, day and date I’m in and a twelve month driving licence which may or may not be renewed. The problem, as i see it is, I am still articulate – I can still talk the talk, I just can’t walk the walk to match. Friends and relatives don’t want to believe that I will become a liability and they’re constantly looking for evidence that I’m ‘okay really’ and they don’t follow me home to witness the sheer frustration of my ‘messing up’ on a regular and sometimes dangerous basis – I can’t tell you how many saucepans I’ve ruined – I now eat salads because it’s safer. So I do understand your frustration and I can empathise because I/we need to be understood and that can’t really happen until there is acceptance of this devastating illness and the desire to support those who have it. Thankyou for this opportunity to rant a bit. xxx

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    1. Jill, thank you for your comment. I don’t feel like you’re ranting, I feel like you are sharing, just like I did. People need to hear about our struggles, they need to hear about our struggles and fears. They need to hear the actual issues we face every day. If we don’t talk about the facts, we’re not doing anyone any good. People need to know the truth. One day they may actually accept it.

      I wish you well on your journey. I’m right there with you!

      B

      Like

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