Since I am no longer able to work, my main focus is making my family comfortable. In between scouring the Alzheimer’s sites for information to post on Twitter, Facebook and/or to update my Advocacy speech, I do laundry, I clean, I unload and reload the dishwasher, it’s what my life has come to be. For all practical purposes, I am “Mr. Mom” and I’m OK with that. It’s not what I imagined retirement to be, but there are things that happen in which we have no control. This is one of those things,
Another thing I try to do is provide evening dinner for Shannon, Asheton, and Bradley. I used to love to cook. I could throw things together and make them taste so good. As long as I didn’t make it too hot (spicy), they would eat it all and eat all the leftovers. The leftovers were the key. It’s how I gauged whether or not they liked what I made. If it stayed in the refrigerator longer than 2 days, they didn’t like it.
As my Alzheimer’s shows signs of progression, I find that leftovers stay in the refrigerator a bit longer than usual. Every now and then I have to throw them away. Hell, even I don’t like what I make sometimes. To play it safe, I now use online recipe’s or recipe’s from the side of the box to make sure all the ingredients are there. I still add a pinch of this or that, and make sure the meal is nutritionally balanced, but I mainly stick to what the recipe calls for.
Now, don’t worry, this is not a food blog. I am just trying to set the stage for what today’s entry is really about.
Shannon works very hard to keep all things together. When she comes home at the end of the day, she is physically and mentally exhausted. I try to make sure everything is done so she can just relax.
Every Wednesday, there’s a place near our house that runs a special on their “BANG-BANG SHRIMP,” $6 for the order along with bread and a small bed of lettuce. Although the shrimp have a bit of a kick, Shannon loves them. Since Wednesday was the 1st, and the 1st of the month is her busiest time, I decided to surprise her with dinner.
I called ahead, ordered the shrimp and left to go on my 6 mile, 14-minute round trip to get the food.
That’s where it went all wrong.
3 miles there, 3 miles back. I felt comfortable enough to drive that route by myself. After all, I was going to do something nice for my wife. So off I went.
About 10 minutes into the drive, I realized I was nowhere near my destination. Nothing looked familiar. As Yogi Berra would say, “It was Deja Vu all over again!”
Since I have used “My Alzheimer’s Story” so many times recently, I immediately went to the part when I got lost going to my Dr.’s office. I had this. I pulled off to the side of the road and started putting info into my phone. The only thing wrong was, I couldn’t remember the name of the place I was going, I couldn’t remember what the Google Maps app looked like, I couldn’t remember a damn thing. The only thing I could remember was, “CALL SHANNON!” “CALL SHANNON!” However, stubbornness, pride, embarrassment and the fact that she had a horrific day prevented me from calling.
So I just sat. I hope no one reading this EVER has to face the feeling of not just being lost, but not knowing how you got there or how to get back.
Back to me sitting in the car in a complete blank state of mind. I don’t how long I was there. I again went to my phone to try and look for the Google Maps app. I pushed the main button on the phone and I guess I held it for too long. I heard a sound and the words, “What Can I Help You With” appeared on the screen. It was my friend Siri.
Embarrassingly I started to cry, uncontrollably, you know the point in a movie where someone is stranded on a small, uninhabited island in the middle of the ocean and they see a ship headed their way to save them? THAT kind of uncontrollable crying!
Although I couldn’t remember the name of the restaurant, I could remember Bang Bang Shrimp. So I asked Siri where to find Bang-Bang Shrimp. Bonefish Grill came up with directions.
SIRI SAVED ME!!!
I went to the restaurant, got the food and drove back home, with GPS directions of course. Pulling into the driveway, I realized what should have been a 15-minute trip had turned into almost 45 minutes. Going inside and seeing what my little journey had to done to Shannon was worse than anything.
She was angry with me that I didn’t call, and rightfully so. I explained that being she had a rough day, I didn’t want to bother her. She explained that if I had called her, this could have been resolved in less time and a lot less stress. She was right of course. My good intentions had bad results.
I realized at that point that my days of driving may be nearing the end. I remember when both my parents had to give up their keys. It wasn’t pretty. My Dad, although he couldn’t remember too much, held a grudge against my oldest brother for taking his keys. I don’t want to put Shannon in that position. She has enough to deal with, dealing with me on a daily basis with just day-to-day activities.
What I’ve learned through all of this and what I hope to remember is, having Alzheimer’s means you have to lean on others for help. I have the 3 people I love the most on which to lean . . . Shannon, Asheton, and Bradley. I have my sister and brothers and I can’t forget my furry, faithful, stuck-to-my-side companion…Dallas. I have friends and family from coast to coast and all points in between that offer their support daily. I consider myself lucky and loved and I say that with tearful pride.
Thank you Siri, and Apple. Making an app to be used as a personal assistant, in my opinion, was the best thing you’ve
ever done. I sincerely hope people like me will use this feature instead of just asking:
What is 0 divided by 0?
Until Next Time,
“I Have Alzheimer’s . . . Alzheimer’s Doesn’t Have Me!”