a-charlie-brown-christmasIf you’re a Baby Boomer like myself, you will probably recognize the photos from “A Charlie Brown Christmas.” For me, it brings back memories of happy, simpler times. That’s where Charlie Brown lived … in the simple times. Nothing really stopped him from doing the things he wanted to do no matter what others thought. He saw the beauty in things others didn’t. He was hopeful and did things in his own time. He was trusting … sometimes, too trusting.

Charlie Brown was just a simple guy who always saw the good in people, never judging, never holding a grudge. He’s described as, “Good ol’ Charlie Brown” is the lovable loser in the zig-zag t-shirt—the kid who never gives up (even though he almost never wins). He manages the world’s worst baseball team…yet shows up for every game. He can’t muster the courage to talk to the Little Red-Haired girl…yet keeps hoping. Even though he gets grief from his friends, his kite-eating tree, even his own dog, Charlie Brown remains the stalwart hero.”
CB Football
He is forever hopeful that Lucy won’t move the football. I think most of us wishes it will happen one day, so we cheer him on that he will, get to kick the ball at least once . . . but not this time. Lucy does what she ALWAYS does. She moves the ball away and Charlie Brown lands flat on his back.

We weren’t really surprised were we?
Charlie Brown was! As I said before, he always sees the good in people and he trusts they will not do anything to cause him harm. He trusts Lucy time after time. Why? Because that’s who he is.

(Just so you know, this post is not about Charlie Brown, but, you’ll understand in a little bit.)

Image result for charlie brown christmas tree

Lastly, there’s the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree that, in his mind, was the perfect tree. Of course, no one else but Charlie Brown saw the beauty of the simple little tree, and, as usual, they all laughed and made fun of the tree as well as him, “The Blockhead”, and hurt his feelings . . . AGAIN!

Maybe it was the Christmas Season that got to them, for this time, they saw just how much they had hurt Charlie Brown. 

Image result for charlie brown christmas treeWhen they saw the saddened little boy walk away as if he didn’t have a friend in the world, Linus anchored the little tree with his blanket and all Charlie Brown’s friends took the lights and decorations off Snoopy’s house and placed them on the tree. They brought Charlie Brown back to show him what they had done and he smiled so big. As with every Charlie Brown cartoon, he was accepted, everyone was smiling and singing and for a brief moment, everything was right with the world.

Now as a I said earlier, this is not about Charlie Brown and his friends. This is actually about reality in “Dementia World.”

Those of us who are living with a Dementia-Related illness sometimes feel like Charlie Brown. We have those days when we feel forgotten, dismissed, or if we don’t really matter. We sometimes come across people who we believe are our friends but turn out to be a “so-called friend” who pretend to have our best interest at heart, when all they are interested in is furthering themselves by using us to get there.

The feelings of abandonment and distrust we experience are not just about our friends but also about some  members of our family who no longer talk to us for whatever reason. We try our hardest to remember what we may have done to put this distance between us for we are certain (like Charlie Brown) it must’ve been something we did. When we come to the realization that it wasn’t us, it doesn’t feel any better.

When we are having a good day, we feel there is nothing we can’t do, so we take advantage of those days. We use our clarity to do something our minds would not allow us to do the day before, that is, if we remember the day before. Sometimes we do remember and we rejoice for the small victories. Sometimes we don’t and it’s OK because we know we’re not going to remember everything so we carry on the best we can.

Then there are the really tough days, the days when we go to kick the ball, and the ball is snatched away. On those days, we may literally fall on our backs, on our butts, hurting ourselves figuratively and mentally.  

If you’re thinking my point here is to make you feel sorry for me or for the millions of others who, like me, are living with Alzheimer’s or other Dementia- Related Illnesses you would be incorrect. Like Charlie Brown, we don’t give up . . . we CAN’T give up. Giving up is not an option. Giving up is an end and I can’t speak for everyone but I can speak for myself, I still have too much to do and I’M NOT READY TO GIVE UP!

What we do want are your friendships. We want your love. We want your understanding. This Disease is not something we asked for, this is not something we brought on ourselves, this is something that just happened to us and we are trying to make the best of the situation. 

Since this ’tis the Season, I ask you that if you know someone who is Living with a Dementia-Related Illness or any type of illness for that matter, please:

  • don’t assume we are receiving phone calls, letters, e-mails, Christmas Cards, etc. for you would probably be mistaken.
  • don’t assume we are being visited by friends and /or family for we may not be
  • don’t assume a gift card or other monetary gifts would not be appreciated
  • don’t assume anything about anyone, for you don’t know the whole story
  • the one thing you CAN assume is, “WE ARE STILL LIVING . . . WE ARE NOT GIVING UP . . . WE STILL MATTER . . . WE ARE STILL HERE!

I would like to take this opportunity to wish YOU, yes YOU, a Very Merry Christmas!

Until Next Time . . . 
PEACE (on Earth and good will towards men)

B

The Journey is Not Always as it Seems!

Being today is the last Friday in June, also the last Friday of Alzheimer’s and Brain Awareness Month, I knew I wanted to write about something but I didn’t know what that “something” was going to be. A trip to the grocery store today gave me my inspiration.

For those of you who may not know, I now live alone in an apartment. Although I still have a drivers license, I don’t have a vehicle for I can’t afford one (insurance, gas, maintenance, etc) so I found an apartment complex that is within walking distance to everything I need.

When I got up this morning, my intention was to head to Winn Dixie for I needed a few things, however, my brain had other plans and the fog rolled in. (For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, you may want to see one of my earlier blog posts Fog, It’s Not Just a Weather Condition.) 

When in a “Foggy State” not only is my brain not operating at full capacity but my balance is a bit off. The last thing I wanted to happen is to fall either while walking to or from the grocery, so, I remained inside.

I busied myself with other things, completely forgetting I needed to go to the grocery. Opening the refrigerator to fix lunch, I suddenly realized, I was supposed to go to the grocery. Forgetting things like this used to make me angry but now, they make me laugh at myself. It took me several years to realize it was no one’s fault other than my own when I forget things. Then after a couple of additional years, it wasn’t my fault, it was Alzheimer’s’ fault! (I’ve always been a slow learner).

I started getting ready, making sure I had my wallet, my phone, and my backpack and off I went. The walk is only about a 1/2 mile each way so I get my exercise in while getting my errands done. Another thing I’ve learned it’s easier to use a backpack to carry my groceries than it is to carry the plastic bags that can easily burst or rip. (I learned that the hard way.)

With my shopping done, I packed my backpack but couldn’t fit everything so I had to carry 2 grocery bags. I made my way across the parking lot and was about to make my way to the sidewalk when I car came up behind me.

From what I could see, there were 3 teenagers in the car. There may have been 1 other but I don’t really know or care. The driver and the kid seated directly behind him started shouting obscenities at me. I didn’t understand what I had done. It wasn’t like I crossed in front of them for they had come up behind me. I just couldn’t understand what was happening.

Then I heard the words, “you homeless f***er!” “Get a job you piece of s**t!” “Go beg somewhere else you blah, blah, blah!” They just kept on screaming, cursing, yelling and laughing at me. I then realized I was approaching an area where there are people usually using that spot, holding signs asking for food and or money. Many of them have backpacks and an assortment of bags with them. I guess they thought I was making my way to that spot to ask for food and/or money.

I didn’t know how to feel. I was being verbally assaulted because I was mistaken for someone who, they thought, was below them, someone who didn’t fit their description of an upstanding member of society, someone who, in their words, “you f***ing BUM!”

I started walking again and they continued cursing and yelling but the traffic started to drown them out. They made their way out of the parking lot and made a point to slow down as they passed me on the street to continue shouting at me. I just ignored them and made my way home.

Once I got home, I unpacked my bags and backpack and then I got angry. I wasn’t angry at those little punks who probably thought they got to me and made me feel bad. I was angry at something else. I was angry at my Alzheimer’s.

If I didn’t have Alzheimer’s Disease, I’d still be working, making A LOT more money than my monthly Social Security Disability.
I’d still be driving, able to get where I needed/wanted to go, rain or shine.
I’d probably still have my network of friends to interact with.

Thinking of these things, I was getting angrier and angrier . . . really pissed off!
Then a notification went off on my phone. It was from someone on Facebook. I didn’t know this person but they were thanking me for opening up about my Alzheimer’s Life. They had read a few of my blog posts as well as my Facebook posts and they thanked me for helping them better understand their Mother, who is currently living with Alzheimer’s.

As fast as the anger came upon me, calmness replaced it. The words, my own words, the words I now say at the end of my presentation came flowing into my brain with such clarity . . . (I still had to get a copy of my presentation to make sure I had the exact verbiage)

“Regardless of whether you have an illness, regardless of your gender, regardless of your race, the way you are perceived by others, although it may be hard to take at times, it’s not something you need to concern yourself with. Look at it as a learning experience you can use later in life and a teaching experience you can use today.

For those who use words or actions against you, it’s because they don’t understand. You know who you are. You know your abilities.

Everything you’ve been through in your life . . . every success, every failure, prepares you for what lies ahead.

It’s why I’m not embarrassed to stand before you or anyone for that matter and say, “I HAVE ALZHEIMER’S DISEASE!” I don’t do it as a way of looking for pity and sympathy, I do it as a way of saying, “HEY! Look at me. I’m only 57 years old, I look somewhat normal but I have this disease.”

It starts a conversation. It’s my way of advocating, spreading the word, making aware, or whatever you want to call it.  It is now my life mission!”

Everything in life happens for a reason. We may not understand the why’s but accepting things makes it more manageable.

Until next time,
PEACE!
B

Hope for the Future?

Scanning the headlines under the topics of Alzheimer’s, Alzheimer’s Disease, Dementia and other related topics, I see a trend. The trend is for the future and that’s awesome. My hope is that no one will have to go through what I and millions of others have gone through and are going through now.  Trust me when I say, you DON’T want to experience Alzheimer’s Disease.

This is why, towards the end of every single presentation, I make this statement, “I made a vow to myself to share Alzheimer’s Education and Awareness for as long as I am able, in order to benefit those that come after me. I do this in the memory of the loved ones I have already lost, for the new found friends I have recently lost, and for the friends and loved ones I will lose.”

Scouring the headlines, as I do most every day, I see  I see things like:

  • Eat Healthy  (newsflash … we’ve been told to eat healthy for decades now. People have followed these programs exactly as they were laid. Some people still developed Alzheimer’s. My Mother ate healthy all her life, measuring her food on a food scale and eating her veggies and she still died with Alzheimer’s Disease.)
  • Excessive alcohol use linked to early-onset dementia risk (I have yet to see an Alzheimer’s / Dementia health warning posted outside a bar, restaurant, sports stadium or any other establishment that serves liquor. Even if these types of postings would start popping up, do you think it would make a difference?) 

  • Head injuries may lead to early Alzheimer’s (The NFL has made a difference by imposing new rules and bringing Dementia / CTE awareness to the forefront. However, pay close attention to the sidelines as to when a player makes a great play. Everyone gathers around the player and SLAPS HIM IN THE HEAD! and it’s not a little soft tap, and it’s not just once. Maybe they should look into that also. Just sayin’.
  • How daytime sleepiness may raise Alzheimer’s risk (This is my favorite. Do you know how many people may decide they need a nap during the middle of the day because they are tired but don’t do it now because they feel it may lead to Alzheimer’s Disease? So instead, to relax, they head to their favorite Sports Bar and have a beer.) 

There are a lot of things floating around right now appearing in the News Feeds, but in my humble opinion, it’s all speculation. This headline sort of summed it up for me and is also the most honest headline I’ve seen in a while:
Alzheimer’s Drug Trials Keep Failing —
It May Be Because We Don’t Understand the Disease

There is hope though. While Pfizer made the decision to back out of the Alzheimer’s Drug Research arena, enter Bill Gates and Warren Buffett, each contributing $100,000,000. It’s refreshing to see individuals like Gates and Buffett step up and do something like this, not for the glory but for the good of humankind.

Living Well with Alzheimer’s Disease is hard but as the saying goes, nothing worthwhile ever comes easy. Throw in the fact that there is no way to prevent it from developing, to stop the progression or to cure it, it has not stopped most of us from living somewhat of a positive, purposeful life.
It has also not stopped the countless number of researchers, drug companies, and benefactors from doing what they do each and every day to search for a cure.

I am confident that one day, there will be a cure. Before that, a way to stop the progression of the disease. Before or after that, a way to prevent from developing. Finally, after that . . . THE CURE.

Until then, I’m just going to continue living, as best I can, day by day, in the moment.

Until next time . . . PEACE!
B

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS: Make Them BUT, Be Smart About It!!!

Once again, a New Year is approaching. In my mind, I’m thinking, “Well, I made it through another year so I should be thankful for just that!” I also think, “what am I going to do in 2018 to stay both physically and mentally fit?” Well, the two go hand in hand.

Memberships for gyms and fitness centers explode in January because I believe, people really want to do something positive for themselves and being physically fit is a positive thing. However, it’s not for everyone. I know it’s not for me, but that doesn’t stop me from doing it on my own.

My resolution for this year is to stay “physically healthy”. I have enough “doohickey’s and “whatchamacallits” I can use to make myself more physically healthy (hand weights, resistance bands, etc…). I also have a dog as well as my own two legs to take me for walks. Last, but certainly not least, I also have my great-niece, Alexis, who is enrolled at LSU(GEAUX TIGERS!) majoring in KINESIOLOGY with a focus in Fitness Studies. (KINESIOLOGY is an academic discipline that involves the study of human movement, especially the role of physical activity and its impact on health, human performance, society, and quality of life.)  Alexis prepared a fitness plan that specifically meets my needs. (SHE’S AWSOME!!!)

In addition to staying physically healthy, I’m also vowing to stay “brain healthy.” A recent study published in the American Journal of Preventative Medicine states that doing physical exercise in combination with cognitive engagement can enhance brain health.

Having Alzheimer’s Disease makes it difficult to remember to do both the physical and mental exercises, but, that’s where technology comes in. In other words, I set reminders on my phone to alert me.

One of the things I do is to play “Words with Friends” on Facebook. Some people will play it for fun or for competitive reasons. I do it for brain health. Many of you who I’m connected with on Facebook may see an invite (or 2 or 3 ‘cuz I forget if I’ve already invited you or am already playing a game with you) to join me in a game of Words with Friends. Yes, I do it for the social interaction, but I also do it to utilize my brain. (NO, I don’t use any of the cheats. That would defeat the purpose) You will find that I lose A LOT of games but I don’t do it to win. I do it to push my brain to think.

There’s also an app called WordBrain where you try to make as many words as you can in a certain amount of time.
You can also play BOGGLE, Tetris, Word Search (either on an app or using a word search book). Word Whizzle is another game where you will see words spelled backward and forward.

I’m sure there are other games you know that can test your brain function and if you would like to share them with me, I would be happy to share with my readers.

My main message is to treat your brain as a muscle. It needs to be “worked out” in order to stay healthy. Will working out your brain stave off any type of cognitive impairment? Who knows? Will it erase Alzheimer’s or any other dementia? Not that we know of yet but, hey, it may help slow it down a bit.

What I’m trying to say is, not trying, at least for me, is not an option. I explore many options in hopes that I can slow my Alzheimer’s decline.

So, in 2018, don’t forget to work out that “brain muscle” as often as you can, because, ya neva know!!!

Until Next Time . . .
I wish you PEACE and a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

B

“Hey, Alexa . . . THANK YOU!”

“Hey, Alexa . . . THANK YOU!”

The Amazon Echo Dot can assist individuals with a dementia-related illness get through the day a little bit better. At a time when some folks are going tech-free, I’m discovering technology is actually helping me to live a better life.

Alexa

 


(I am in no way associated with Amazon and I have not been compensated in any way to write about the Amazon Echo Dot.

 

My reasoning for writing this is two-fold: 
1) while I appreciate humor, there is a fine line between laughing with people and laughing at people. 
2) I want to point on out how this device can really help those of us living with a disability, including cognitive decline.

Recently, I saw a Saturday Night Live skit regarding, as they put it, “people of a certain age” using the Amazon Echo Dot.  At first, I thought it was going to be funny. That ended when I realized they were actually making fun of older adults experiencing hearing loss and cognitive decline.
I’m including a link to the skit so you can make the determination on your own. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YvT_gqs5ETk

After watching the skit, I know some of you will find it funny and some of you will not.
In reading the comments made about the skit, I found one to be enlightening.

It read, “Laughing at the video. Then I realized this is video is about me in 30-40 years.”
How true those words may be. I sincerely hope, for this young man’s sake, they don’t come true.

Anyway, this post is not about SNL, this is about the Amazon Echo Dot and how I believe it can assist individuals with a dementia-related illness get through the day a little bit better.
At a time when some folks are going tech-free, I’m discovering technology is actually helping me to live a better life.

“The Amazon Echo Dot is a device that uses speech recognition to perform an ever-growing range of tasks on command. Amazon calls the built-in brains of this device “Alexa,” and she is the thing that makes it work. Her real smarts are on the Internet, in the cloud-computing service run by Amazon. The name Alexa can be changed by the user to “Amazon”, “Echo” or “Computer”.”
Amazon Echo Dot info

 

If you don’t know what the Amazon Echo Dot does, here’s how I use mine:

  • I use Amazon Echo Dot for a lot of things, like setting alarms to eat, reminders to take a bath, tell me the weather forecast … she will usually understand what you are trying to ask. If she doesn’t, she will let you know.
  • It can hear you from across the room or from upstairs with voice recognition, even while music is playing
  • I haven’t gotten to this point yet but if you really want to get fancy, you can purchase additional components that will allow you to control lights, switches, thermostats, etc. 

For those of us who are living well with a dementia-related illness, we may find ourselves being a bit more forgetful than what we used to be. I will only speak for myself and what I go through, for most of us have similar symptoms, but are affected in different ways.

One of the things I most like is the news feature, or “flash briefing”. Just say, “Hey Alexa, read me the news!” and she does, giving you headlines from all over. If you want her to stop, just say, “Alexa, stop reading news” or some other form of a command. My favorite is, “Alexa, when is the next Saints game” and she tells me the date and time. “WHO DAT!!!”

Alexa will also play music from your Amazon Prime Music selection. You choose the genre or something from your own personal playlist and she will play it. For example, at this time of year, I say, “Alexa, play Christmas music!” (I sometimes ask please without even thinking. I think she appreciates it!)

Although I have alarms and reminders on my phone to alert me as to what I should be doing at a particular time, I also use Alexa to remind me verbally. For example, I’ll say, “Alexa, remind me at 1:00pm to get ready for my speaking engagement at the Alzheimer’s Association at 2:30pm.!” She says it verbally and also sends a message to my phone. (by the way, if I don’t say am or pm, she will ask me.)

There are many other features the Amazon Echo Dot uses but I just wanted to highlight some of the features I use most often. Since this is the holiday season, for only $29.99, this would be a great gift for someone who may be starting to have some memory decline, someone who has had a dementia-related illness diagnosis or just something to have handy to make your life a little less complicated. Just an FYI, it also has a built-in bedtime story function for the kids . . . or even for you!

As a side note, you may also want to check with your cable provider. Their new remotes are now voice enabled. If you’re like me, I remember the network but I forget the channel number. Now, I just press the little microphone thingy (yes, that’s a real term, at least in my vocabulary), and say “NBC” or “FOX NEWS” or “HGTV” or “ESPN” and it goes directly to that station.

As I go further along my Alzheimer’s path, I’m always looking for ways to make my life a little less complicated. When I find something that works, I put on my Dementia Advocate hat (yes I have one but only wear it in private)  and share it with as many people as I can. I know that it may not work for everyone but if it works for a few, then . . . HOORAY!

As far as SNL goes, I know they will continue making fun of people. It’s what they do. I just hope they keep in mind that when they make fun of people with cognitive issues, it’s really not that funny.

Until next time . . .
PEACE and Merry Christmas!

~ Brian
“I have Alzheimer’s BUT it doesn’t have me,
for I don’t allow it to define who I am!”

 

 

 

Alzheimer’s . . . from the Daughter / Dad Perspective

In honor of World Alzheimer’s Month, my daughter and I were asked to write a few words as to what it’s like to be a Dad with Alzheimer’s and a Daughter of a Dad with Alzheimer’s. Being today is World Alzheimer’s Day, here are our words, our perspectives, our truths.
My hope is that this brings an awareness, some clarity and raw honesty of how Alzheimer’s not only affects the individual with the disease but the family as a whole.  I also hope this shows that Living with Alzheimer’s is still “LIVING”, still “FEELING LOVE”, still being “ALIVE INSIDE!”
B

IMG_2646

Daughter of Dad with Alzheimer’s, from HER Perspective

Being the daughter of a parent living with Alzheimer’s is challenging, unpredictable, and the best way to learn patience. There comes a point where you find yourself, a child, not only wanting to help your parent with the disease, but also being left with no other option but to help. Luckily it doesn’t happen all at once.

It starts with helping them retrace their steps to finding their keys that they put in the fridge, to watching them struggle for a few minutes to find their car in the parking lot, to wondering if they know where a store is five minutes away from home, and then ultimately them not being able to drive anymore at all and having their license taken away. It’s a slow and steady progression, but it still hurts me all the same.

Being the daughter of a parent with Alzheimer’s is having a front row seat to watching someone so close to you literally lose their mind. Nothing prepares you for that, and when the time comes you have to just accept it and take it with a grain of salt. Conversations are a little harder to have, dinners aren’t as cheerful as they once were and outings have become progressively more stressful. But at the end of the day despite all the challenges, the unpredictable circumstances, and my patience running a little too thin…I still love my step dad, and I know he still loves me. 

Dad, with Alzheimer’s, of Daughter from HIS perspective

Being a Dad to a daughter is special, like a gift. Throw in Alzheimer’s and it complicates the entire situation. Her helping to care for me while I live with Alzheimer’s was nowhere on my radar, but she just jumped in and never looked back.

At 22 years old, she has her own life and will not be here forever. My questions are, will I be around or aware to see her married, become a mother, to hold my first Grandchild? Will I be there to celebrate those moments with her?

I know she tires of me asking questions she has answered before but she doesn’t bat an eye. She just answers. When she comes home at the end of her work day/night, she sits with me for a few moments, asking me questions about my day that most of the time I can’t answer but somehow, she already knows the answers and helps me fill in the blanks. Funny thing is, I don’t always recognize when she does this . . . but she knows, and it breaks my heart.

I realize I must sound the same as my Mother did (she also had Alzheimer’s) when I asked her questions. I’m sure, as confused as I sound, she still treats me with the same love and kindness as I treated my Mother. I couldn’t ask for anything more loving than that.

She states, “being the daughter of a parent with Alzheimer’s is having a front row seat to watching someone so close to you literally lose their mind.” I don’t know anyone who would want that for any of their children. I know I didn’t and I also know my daughter doesn’t have to do what she does, day in and day out, but she does it.

My one hope is that she is far, far away when I am in need of the type of care I’ll need in the end. Until then, I try to cherish each kiss on the cheek, each moment, no matter how big, small or insignificant we share.​

#WAM2017  #WorldAlzheimersDay2017

Until next time . . .
PEACE!

B

 

“Weighing In” on a Few Things

First, let’s do some housekeeping:

  1. Yes, I still have Alzheimer’s Disease (and no, I’m still not “Faking It.”)
  2. I know everyone wishes for (me as well as everyone else with a Dementia-Related Illness) a cure/prevention/stop of progression (no one wishes that more than me) but there’s still not any of these “yet”, so I live each day as best I can, one moment at a time.
  3. I’m still me and “on most days” you can still talk, joke and laugh with me and I will talk, joke and laugh right back with you.
  4. On the “not-so-good-days”, well let’s just say I have them but don’t remember too much about them, which, when you look at it from my point of view, is actually a fortunate occurrence. 

That should bring everyone up to date, so let’s move on.

I don’t get out too much anymore being I am no longer able to drive. I have to depend on my family and some very close acquaintances to take me wherever I need/want to go. The “need to go” far outweighs the “want to go” because I don’t like asking anyone to take me anywhere. I do have the option to “UBER” anywhere I want to go, but I don’t usually opt for that either.

When I do get out and run into people I know, it’s nice to see them. It just reminds of years ago when I was out and about, being part of the social scene. The only difference now is the way I am greeted. (Please don’t think I am being disrespectful or ungrateful for what I’m about to say, just bear with me.) Now, when people see me, they come up and they get a sort of sad expression on their face and they say, in a very caring tone, “Hey, how are you? You look GREAT!!!” The first thing that pops into my mind is, “WOW! I must have looked like crap years ago. What I didn’t realize is the transformation I have gone through.

Let me explain:
One of the changes that comes with Alzheimer’s Disease and one that I am now experiencing is a change in my taste buds as well as in the way I smell things.

Here are 2 articles I found which may be helpful for you to understand . . . 

How Dementia Tampers With Taste Buds
https://www.everydayhealth.com/alzheimers/how-dementia-tampers-with-taste-buds.aspx
Food, Eating and Alzheimer’s
https://www.alz.org/care/alzheimers-food-eating.asp


Putting 2 and 2 together, when you can’t smell and/or taste the food you are eating, you tend not to enjoy it very much and you also tend not to eat too much.
Growing up in New Orleans, I ate some of the best food in the world . . . and a lot of it. At my highest weight, I was 285lbs. I lost a significant amount of weight and usually kept it between 240lbs and 210lbs, sometimes dipping below, sometimes going a bit higher.

Recently, I did notice that my clothes were not fitting me like they used to. Some were literally falling off of me. What I didn’t realize, until I started seeing recent photos of me is how much weight I had lost. Then I stepped on the scale . . . I saw it steadily drop from 180 to 170 to 160 and now to 155lbs. (I have no recollection as to the last time I was even close to 150lbs but i think it was around the time of my birth.)

I can still recall my Mother taking me to JoAnn’s Husky Shop in New Orleans to shop for clothes. I wanted to wear “normal clothes” but my body had other plans, which usually included the delicious, mouthwatering donuts and pastries from Haydels Bakery and McKenzie’s. I can still taste those delicious buttermilk drops, hot glazed donuts and every pastry you could ever imagine. It was a little fat boys dream for they were both in a “bicycle ride” distance. (All that sugar could be why I have Type II Diabetes today, but I digress.)

ANYWAYS, back to the present . . . I started looking at recent photos of me wearing clothes that were the correct size for me and THAT is when it really hit me.

(Here are 2 photos I took right after my walk this morning August 23rd, 2017, in case any of you haven’t seen me in a while.
And yes, I know I have NO BUTT, but even at my heaviest, I still had NO BUTT! Thanks Dad!

The reason I posted these photos is because if someone hasn’t seen me in a long time and they see me now, looking like I do, no wonder I’m greeted like I am. I would probably do the same if I saw me.

Don’t worry, I still eat, I just don’t eat nearly as much as I used to. I eat healthier food,  I don’t snack a lot and now I’m walking every day (or when it’s not raining or due to scheduling conflicts) .

What I’m trying to say is, I’m sorry if I thought badly of anyone for having that sad tone in their voice or for telling me I “look great” which is what you tell a sick person to make them feel better about the themselves. Ironically, looking at me now and looking at me a year ago, I kinda-sorta do look sick.

I guess another reason I didn’t see what others see is because in my mind, I’m still me, or at least a version of me.
I know I’m not as sharp as I used to be.
I know I can’t remember too much from yesterday or the day before.
I know I still have to rely on electronic devices to tell me what to do and when to do it.
I know there are things I can no longer do, but I also know why I think like I do and I also know you’ve heard it before, but it’s what I live by . . .

I Have Alzheimer’s BUT . . . it Doesn’t Have Me
for I Don’t Allow it to Define Who I Am!

That’s it for now.
Until Next Time . . .
B

PEACE!!!