a-charlie-brown-christmasIf you’re a Baby Boomer like myself, you will probably recognize the photos from “A Charlie Brown Christmas.” For me, it brings back memories of happy, simpler times. That’s where Charlie Brown lived … in the simple times. Nothing really stopped him from doing the things he wanted to do no matter what others thought. He saw the beauty in things others didn’t. He was hopeful and did things in his own time. He was trusting … sometimes, too trusting.

Charlie Brown was just a simple guy who always saw the good in people, never judging, never holding a grudge. He’s described as, “Good ol’ Charlie Brown” is the lovable loser in the zig-zag t-shirt—the kid who never gives up (even though he almost never wins). He manages the world’s worst baseball team…yet shows up for every game. He can’t muster the courage to talk to the Little Red-Haired girl…yet keeps hoping. Even though he gets grief from his friends, his kite-eating tree, even his own dog, Charlie Brown remains the stalwart hero.”
CB Football
He is forever hopeful that Lucy won’t move the football. I think most of us wishes it will happen one day, so we cheer him on that he will, get to kick the ball at least once . . . but not this time. Lucy does what she ALWAYS does. She moves the ball away and Charlie Brown lands flat on his back.

We weren’t really surprised were we?
Charlie Brown was! As I said before, he always sees the good in people and he trusts they will not do anything to cause him harm. He trusts Lucy time after time. Why? Because that’s who he is.

(Just so you know, this post is not about Charlie Brown, but, you’ll understand in a little bit.)

Image result for charlie brown christmas tree

Lastly, there’s the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree that, in his mind, was the perfect tree. Of course, no one else but Charlie Brown saw the beauty of the simple little tree, and, as usual, they all laughed and made fun of the tree as well as him, “The Blockhead”, and hurt his feelings . . . AGAIN!

Maybe it was the Christmas Season that got to them, for this time, they saw just how much they had hurt Charlie Brown. 

Image result for charlie brown christmas treeWhen they saw the saddened little boy walk away as if he didn’t have a friend in the world, Linus anchored the little tree with his blanket and all Charlie Brown’s friends took the lights and decorations off Snoopy’s house and placed them on the tree. They brought Charlie Brown back to show him what they had done and he smiled so big. As with every Charlie Brown cartoon, he was accepted, everyone was smiling and singing and for a brief moment, everything was right with the world.

Now as a I said earlier, this is not about Charlie Brown and his friends. This is actually about reality in “Dementia World.”

Those of us who are living with a Dementia-Related illness sometimes feel like Charlie Brown. We have those days when we feel forgotten, dismissed, or if we don’t really matter. We sometimes come across people who we believe are our friends but turn out to be a “so-called friend” who pretend to have our best interest at heart, when all they are interested in is furthering themselves by using us to get there.

The feelings of abandonment and distrust we experience are not just about our friends but also about some  members of our family who no longer talk to us for whatever reason. We try our hardest to remember what we may have done to put this distance between us for we are certain (like Charlie Brown) it must’ve been something we did. When we come to the realization that it wasn’t us, it doesn’t feel any better.

When we are having a good day, we feel there is nothing we can’t do, so we take advantage of those days. We use our clarity to do something our minds would not allow us to do the day before, that is, if we remember the day before. Sometimes we do remember and we rejoice for the small victories. Sometimes we don’t and it’s OK because we know we’re not going to remember everything so we carry on the best we can.

Then there are the really tough days, the days when we go to kick the ball, and the ball is snatched away. On those days, we may literally fall on our backs, on our butts, hurting ourselves figuratively and mentally.  

If you’re thinking my point here is to make you feel sorry for me or for the millions of others who, like me, are living with Alzheimer’s or other Dementia- Related Illnesses you would be incorrect. Like Charlie Brown, we don’t give up . . . we CAN’T give up. Giving up is not an option. Giving up is an end and I can’t speak for everyone but I can speak for myself, I still have too much to do and I’M NOT READY TO GIVE UP!

What we do want are your friendships. We want your love. We want your understanding. This Disease is not something we asked for, this is not something we brought on ourselves, this is something that just happened to us and we are trying to make the best of the situation. 

Since this ’tis the Season, I ask you that if you know someone who is Living with a Dementia-Related Illness or any type of illness for that matter, please:

  • don’t assume we are receiving phone calls, letters, e-mails, Christmas Cards, etc. for you would probably be mistaken.
  • don’t assume we are being visited by friends and /or family for we may not be
  • don’t assume a gift card or other monetary gifts would not be appreciated
  • don’t assume anything about anyone, for you don’t know the whole story
  • the one thing you CAN assume is, “WE ARE STILL LIVING . . . WE ARE NOT GIVING UP . . . WE STILL MATTER . . . WE ARE STILL HERE!

I would like to take this opportunity to wish YOU, yes YOU, a Very Merry Christmas!

Until Next Time . . . 
PEACE (on Earth and good will towards men)

B

So . . . You Think I’m Faking my Alzheimer’s Disease, do you?

So . . . You Think I’m Faking my Alzheimer’s Disease, do you?

Imagine my amazement when through recent conversations with some close acquaintances, I was told that there are individuals who think I am FAKING my Alzheimer’s Disease. Yeah, I know, right?

First off, HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU FAKE ALZHEIMER’S DISEASE???

  • I’ve had brain scans. Did I manipulate them by turning my brain off, not thinking anything while in the scanner?
  • I’ve been diagnosed, not once, not twice, not thrice, but 4 freakin’ times
    by a Neurologist, a Neuropsychiatrist, and two Neuropsychologists (appointed by the Social Security Administration, who by the way, declines benefits until no stone is unturned). Did I fake not remembering how to draw a clock or another type of shape?  Did I fake remembering the 4 words I was told 5 minutes ago?
  • Do I fake every day not remembering things from 1 minute, 1 hour or 1 day ago
  • I’ve had my driving privileges taken away by my Dr. for it was determined I no longer have the cognitive abilities or proper reaction time to operate a vehicle. Did I fake that too?

BOGUS

WOW . . . if I was faking all this, I must be a pretty damn good faker to have come up with this diabolical plan. But wait, if I was actually faking it, wouldn’t that take someone who can think and remember what to do, day in and day out, so they could remember to keep “faking it?”

Could someone:

  • who has no clue what day it is
  • who cannot tell time on a non-digital watch
  • who has to have alerts on his phone to remind him to take his medicine, to eat and to bathe every day
  • who can’t remember, day to day, how to work a TV remote

Could someone who is Cognitively Impaired really carry out this plan?

Oh wait, I get it . . . I’m supposed to be curled up in a bed, not able to talk intelligently, not able to feed myself or go to the bathroom by myself, and not remember my wife and children. God forbid, should I be able to use a laptop to write blog posts that will hopefully bring awareness and education to people who don’t understand the in’s and out’s of Living with Alzheimer’s Disease that they only saw in their elderly parents and grandparents.

GEEEEZZZZ, I guess since I’m able to do all of these things, maybe all of those so called medical professionals, all 4 of them, plus their PA’s and NP’s, all with their Diplomas and Certificates and published articles are just full of shit!

Maybe they have a quota as to how many people they have to diagnose with a Dementia-Related Illness each month and they needed just one more to be awarded the monthly “Hey, You Diagnosed Some Poor Sucker with a Fatal Illness Who Wasn’t  Really Sick” award, and I was the lucky one.
Maybe they (all 4 Dr’s, PA’s and NP’s) deliberately lied to me just to turn my life and my family’s life inside out and upside down, all the while so they can collect a $35 co-pay so they have some spending money for lunch!
Wow, did they pull the wool over my eyes, or what?

FAKE

I’ve been open and honest about my Alzheimer’s life since the day I was diagnosed. When I talk about it, I don’t do it to make people feel sorry for me, to have pity on me or to call attention to myself.
If I did that, I’d be dishonoring the lives of my Grandfather, my Mother and Father, or my wife’s Grandmother.
If I did that, I’d be making a mockery of every person in the world who has Alzheimer’s Disease, whether they be over or under the age of 65, individuals who I now call a friend.
If I did that, I’d be purposely putting my wife and children through sheer, underserving, inexcusable, wretched hell.

Well, I don’t have the capability to do something like that. 

I’m not saying I’m perfect for I have many faults and I’ve made many mistakes in my life that I’ve paid dearly for, but I’m not evil!

So, for those of you who want to continue thinking I’m faking my illness, please go right ahead. You have the right to think and say what you want. You can’t hurt me anymore than what I’ve already been. We don’t talk or see each other so it’s not like I’m missing out on anything.

Since receiving my “diagnosis” I’ve become non-existent to you, well, except to be called a fake, not to my face of course.

So please, continue your path in life and feel good about yourself. It must be nice to sit upon your throne and pass judgment upon those of us, you feel, are just skating through life.

Yeah, I’m skating alright. Of course, I can no longer skate on my own (guess I’m faking that too) but I’ve got Shannon (and her family), Asheton, Bradley, Linda and so many others holding me up both physically and emotionally when I need it. Unfortunately, I’ve been needing their assistance more and more lately but they are always there. I know I’m fortunate to have them, and yes, I know who YOU are, and I NEVER take it for granted.

They understand what I go through every day. They see and talk to me on good days, bad days and all days in between, because they get it and I am so thankful for that.

Feel free to call them and ask them if I’m “faking it”.
Better yet, just call Shannon. She would just loooooove to talk to some of you.
Just be prepared though, she’s kinda protective of me.

Until Next Time . . .

PEACE,
B

 

Early Onset Alzheimer’s

Early Onset Alzheimer’s

Hi, if you are reading this blog then you were chosen, by me, to read this info. Yes, I have Early Onset Alzheimer’s. Shannon and I found out on October 28th. To say it was an extreme punch in the gut is putting it mildly. We are facing it head on and will fight the fight until we cannot fight any longer.

I am not sending this to you to look for pity. Neither Shannon nor I want to be looked at with sadness or sorrow. You know me. I am a lover of life, family, laughter, music and friendship. Shannon plays it a bit more closer to the vest but I do have her “permission” (lol) to get this information off my chest and out to you.

With that said, I ask only for this. If you hear of, read about or discover any information about Alzheimer’s, I ask you to pass it along to me. You can leave comments here on the blog, send me a message on Facebook or e-mail me at thebrianleblanc@gmail.com.

I also ask for for your support, not your sympathy or pity, but support, not just for me, but for the three people who are everything to me . . .
Bradley (Brad, he likes that name better. lol) a great, loving, intelligent son; Asheton, the most wonderful, loving daughter any father could ask for; and last but certainly not least, my rock, my best friend, my traveling partner, the love of my life, Shannon.
They didn’t ask for any of this, but never once have they showed anything but love for me. I’m not sure what I did to deserve them but I am so thankful for them.

I will be posting updates here to keep you up to date on my progress. Maybe something that I share, or you share with me, will be helpful to someone else going through the same thing. I would love to be able to help others who are in need.

Thanks for letting me share this with you. Thanks for being part of my family and my circle of friends.

B

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